What is a 'Creep'?

I've come to the conclusion that girls are obsessed with the word "Creep" in all its variations--creepy (adj.), creeper (n.), to creep on (v. tr.), and creeptastic (adj.), my personal favorite.  In fact, almost every interaction a girl has with a member of the opposite sex is "creepy" and the poor guy is a "creep."  An established pattern of creepiness (there's a joke in there somewhere) means the guy is a certified "creeper" (so pop them peepers!). 
  What do girls mean when they say a situation was creepy, or a guy is a creep?  It pretty much means that some disgusting piece of human flotsam (and by that I mean some guy) summoned the courage to talk to a girl!  Among womankind the universal rule, known as Creeper's Law, is that all men are creepy until proven innocent. 
  Luckily for those most favored by millions of years of evolution there is one exception to Creeper's Law: a man is creepy UNLESS.  HE'S. GORGEOUS.  This is called the Edward Exception (Twilight fans: correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I understand Edward does the kind of stalkerish garbage that in the real world results in murder-suicides, but since he's gorgeous that expressionless trollop melts in his hand).
  The Edward Exception proves the arbitrary nature of the term "Creep."  The following is an attempt to objectively define what a creep is and how girls should react.
  Of those considered creeps by girlkind, which is every male on earth except for the irritatingly gorgeous, there are three categories.
  Class One Creeps: these are the guys who are "creepy" for no other reason than they are socially awkward.  Some guys grow out of that lurchy adolescent phase, but some of us were so traumatized by the Plastics (seriously, watch the movie "Mean Girls") that we never learned proper social etiquette.  Calling these guys creeps only proves what a useless hobag insensitive person you really are.
  Class Two Creeps: these are the overconfident guys.  They may think they have all the features that hijack the female brain into wanting to pass this guy's genes on to the next generation, but they're not gorgeous enough.  Granted, these guys use cheesy pickup lines and tend toward douchiness, but they're harmless.  When you call them creeps and ignore them they'll just keep trying until some girl with no self respect falls for them, but she'll be so happy to be with anything (assuming she doesn't already have a bunch of cats) that she'll never teach him the correct way to interract with other humans.
  Class Three Creeps: these are the actual creeps.  That's right, there really is such a thing as a Creep!  These are the guys who in reality harbor malicious intent.  They are the rapists, the child molesters, the guys whose life's ambition is to get into a girl's pants.  Class Threes view women as nothing more than a means to fulfilling their base urges, but for whatever idiotic reason useless hobags unfortunate girls fall victim to their charms.
  So, girls, knowing this, how should you treat the guys around you?  If he's a Class One be nice to him.  The poor guy is just trying to be friendly, and it should stroke your bloated ego that of all people you were appealing enough to inspire such heroic acts from him.  If you keep calling him a creep he'll never have enough experience dealing with girls to shed his awkwardness.  I'm not saying you have to marry him, but you'll help him become a functional human being.
  The rule is the same for dealing with Class Twos.  Be nice!  Respectfull human interraction will help them realize what is and isn't appropriate when dealing with girls.
  With Class Threes you have to be extra-carefull, because of the three categories Class Three is the only one that contains gorgeous guys.  If you ever suspect that a guy is a Class Three don't be alone with him.  If you aren't sure if he's a Class Three you can give him the benefit of the doubt, but stay in public!  Guard your carnal treasure! (Seriously, watch the movie "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton").  However, just because a guy is a little bit Class One or even a lot Class Two doesn't mean he's a Class Three.
  So, the point I'm getting at is be carefull who you call a Creep.  If you're a useless hobag inconsiderate person you'll miss out on a wealth of human interraction.